how to drop charges for domestic violence?
February 52010
my bf got arrested for domestic violence. i told the police that he was holding to my throat.. i slap him and he slap me back.. and he has been violence in the pass.. now.. he is in jail waiting for court. if i want to drop the charges.. how can i do it? the pictures that the police took did not have any mark or bruise on me. and the witness didnt have anything that was against him.. will the D.A drop the charge? can i tell them that i was not in the stage that i was thinking right? instead of holding my throat he was just tying to calm me down?
thank you
(live in sf, california)
Assuming that charges have been filed, you do not get to drop charges. The police do not get to drop charges. The DA does not get to drop charges. Under California law, once a criminal charge has been filed ONLY the judge can dismiss the case. (Cal. Penal Code section 1386.) If charges have not yet been filed (and if your boyfriend is in jail, they will have to be filed within a couple of business days), you might be able to convince a prosecutor not to do so. (The police will have nothing to do with it at this stage.)
If the charges have been filed, if you tell the prosecutor (District Attorney or City Attorney, depending upon the charge and the jurisdiction) that you no longer wish the prosecution to proceed, AND if the prosecutor agrees that the prosecution should not proceed, the prosecutor can ask the judge to dismiss the case. A lot of prosecutors believe that women recant in these situations only because they are afraid of the offending person, and will refuse to do so. If the prosecutor does ask, the judge will USUALLY, but not inevitably, do so upon the prosecutor’s request.
It is always best to remember that once you get the law involved, you lose a great deal of control over what happens.
February 5th, 2010 at 5:57 am
You should be able to contact the precint where you filed the report and drop the charges. There is a very good chance that the state will pick up the charges and follow through..LIKE YOU SHOULD!
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February 5th, 2010 at 6:36 am
In most places in the US, domestic abuse charges are filed by the prosecutor (City Attorney, District Attorney, State’s Attorney or the equivalent). The complaining party is considered a witness for the prosecution, rather than a plaintiff (as in a civil case). The complaining party cannot choose to drop the charge. You may ask the prosecutors if they would request to dismiss the case, which they may or may not do, even if you refuse to testify. Good Luck. Please consider getting help from a social service agency.
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February 5th, 2010 at 7:19 am
youre stupid for clogging up the court system with false charges. Did he beat you up or not? If he did, let him stay there.
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February 5th, 2010 at 7:45 am
I suppose you could but you know, law enforcement has enough without rescuing you every time you and the thug have a fight.
You could also be charged with filing false information to the police and could be arrested yourself.
Find another hobby.
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February 5th, 2010 at 8:12 am
he was abusive. don’t drop the charges, he needs to stay away from you. and you need to get out of the relationship. my mom went back to an abusive husband, and he damned near killed her.
what would you tell a friend of yours who had the same problem?
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February 5th, 2010 at 8:29 am
i had an ex that was arrested 3 times for domestic…each time i was stupid and changed my story…the prosecutors office knew i was lying but without my testimony its a weak case…looking back i wish i wouldve had him prosecuted…no one deserves to be choked, hit or whatever…and please go get some counseling before he really really hurts u…cuz it happens everyday…u might tick him off in the future that u wind up dead…good luck!!
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February 5th, 2010 at 8:53 am
um well if he really was being violent maybe u shouldnt be with him and let it end. if u lied is what you are saying then shame on you. you will go through looking bad on the part of the DA who probably wants to try the case anyway, but if you want to drop charges sometimes they can file anyway even if you do not cooperate. it all depends on where you live. more urban areas…they will drop more easily, areas where there is less court activity they will want to push the case.
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February 5th, 2010 at 9:03 am
You’re an idiot. Nobody puts his hand on your throat to calm someone down, nobody is going to buy it, and if you drop the charges and take him back, 99.9% chance that the police will be at your house again, though it may be you that they take on domestic violence charges that time. You hit him, too, and could be charged.
Do yourself a favor and contact your local domestic violence advocacy group. If he has been violent in the past, he will be again and one day you may not walk away from it.
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February 5th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Can’t now. The police can go forward with the charges even if you refuse to testify to domestic violence. See you on COPS.
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February 5th, 2010 at 9:57 am
I would think twice about dropping the charges, that’s just like telling him that what he did is ok, and remember this anger and violence he shows and uses will not go away it will only get worse, that is the truth, for you it is time to move on, do you think that low of yourself to be treated that way, do you not deserve better, and if you have children with this man they will be abused, is this the type of father you want for them? Life really is good, but with this man you will never experience a loving healthy relationship. Buy your question it sounds as if you are making excuses for him, remember what I and the statistics show, it will only get worse and worse.
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February 5th, 2010 at 10:13 am
In this case , you should choose WHO is violent . !
Just tell the truth to the judge .!
That’s the best you can do , so far . . !
Just be fair . . .
. . .
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February 5th, 2010 at 10:18 am
Women like you only make it worse for those who really do want to unload their abusive mates. People don’t take these other women as serious cause there are so many like you who scream for the cops when you get beat up, waste their time and safety as well as the tax payers money just to drop the charges. Next time just let him beat the stuffing out of you and don’t call the cops. Keep your family informed tho in case he goes to far one night.
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February 5th, 2010 at 10:43 am
wow… well… i could be like all of the other Bitch’s on here and tell you your stupid but your not…. if you really feel that you were not in your right state of mind when you said that he was "choking" you or "holding" your throat… then you should go down to the police department and let them know that you dont want to press charges and tell them that you were shook up and didnt know what to think at the time…. now if you want the charges dropped because you "love him" and you dont want to put him through all of this stuff because of a big misunderstanding then that is what you should do… but you also stated that he does have a background for being violent in the past… now was that towards you?? another female??? If it was then sweetie i hate to say it but if it was me then i would let him suffer, because NO female deserves to be beat on or pushed around by the man in her life… i know you love him hun.. but.. if your doing this because you truly believe in your heart he didnt mean to hurt you then do what you tin is right… but if your doing this so he isnt mad at you and he really did put hands on you, then you need to teach him a lesson.. let him sit it out in jail for a few months… honey no one deserves to be abused… NO ONE>… i think you need to think about all of this… let me know what you decide to do… and if you ever need anything im an email away…. zoewiles@hotmail.com..
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February 5th, 2010 at 11:28 am
California changed its laws a few years back. Seems that lots of people think love will fix all problems and decide to drop charges. I believe now that the police are involved the DA can not drop the charges. It seems that a couple of ladies dropped charges and then got beat up real bad and tried to sue the police for not getting there fast enough.
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February 5th, 2010 at 11:58 am
There is a good chance even if you ask the DA’s office to drop the charges that they will prosecute him regardless. You can call the police and see if they will allow you to drop the charges, but they may tell you that you have to wait until the case goes before the DA and that you have to talk to them.
If you have any self-worth, you’ll leave it alone and let them prosecute him. If he indeed did what you said he did, then he should be given some time behind bars to think about it and get some help for his anger issues.
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February 5th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
You have several problems. One is that domestic violence will continue to occur until either you leave or your boyfriend gets help and, in many cases, the boyfriend never gets help and you are a fool to think that you can solve the problem. If he’s done it in the past, then his problem is very significant. Some regular guys sometimes lose their tempers once and do something that they truly regret, but true domestic violence occurs in a cycle where the man erupts and strikes and then there is begging for forgiveness and a honeymoon period and then tension start again and then violence occurs again and so forth. As such, you ought to drop the guy.
Here is another problem. You’ve told the cops your story. If you change it now, then you either lied to the cops, which is a misdeamenor, or you are potentially going to lie on the witness stand, which is a felony. If you truly did lie to the cops at first and your boyfriend did nothing, you probably ought to take the fifth on the stand anyway. But don’t take the fifth (you know, you get to not answer questions that may incriminate you) unless your answers would incriminate you. For instance, if you lied to the cops, telling the truth on the stand (that you lied) would open you up to criminal liability, so you ought to take the fifth.
Generally, however, if the District Attorney knows that you are not going to be cooperative and this is his first time in the system and there are no bruises, the District Attorney may just drop the charges.
On the other hand, the DA has ways of making you talk if they want to take it to the limit. That means you can be subpoenaed and then the question is whether you want to submit yourself to criminal liability or tell the truth.
You say there are no visible bruises in photos. You didn’t say if you showed the cops some bruises. If there were some, that might be a problem, but if all the DA has is you as a witness, the DA has a major problem if you don’t cooperate. However, if the DA wants you to cooperate, they can do things to make you. But in large counties, the DA probably wouldn’t waste his time. That being said, you have a risk to consider.
If there has been violence in the past or there were bruises the cops or other witnesses saw, the DA can bring in experts to talk about battered women’s syndrome and how battered women often recant their stories. As such, the DA can still make the case without you if the evidence is right.
But frankly, if I were you, I’d get out of that relationship fast.
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February 5th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I am going through this right now with my husband. My husband and I have reconciled so I went to the DA to get it all dropped. They agreed, but only if we agreed to counceling and that he had to show great improvement. He must finish the entire one year program. The other agreement was supervised visitation at my parents for him to see me and our girls. Hopefully he will be out on Tuesday and we can get to work on getting our lives back together. But, I must say this to you. I have been with my husband for eight years, he had never physically hurt me before. If your boyfriend has hurt you before, and he truly frightens you, leave him where he is. Get some help from your local womens shelter before you make your decision. My prayer for you is that everything turns out for you in the best interest of your safety. Please take care! girl4God1803@yahoo.com, if you need to talk.
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February 5th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Assuming that charges have been filed, you do not get to drop charges. The police do not get to drop charges. The DA does not get to drop charges. Under California law, once a criminal charge has been filed ONLY the judge can dismiss the case. (Cal. Penal Code section 1386.) If charges have not yet been filed (and if your boyfriend is in jail, they will have to be filed within a couple of business days), you might be able to convince a prosecutor not to do so. (The police will have nothing to do with it at this stage.)
If the charges have been filed, if you tell the prosecutor (District Attorney or City Attorney, depending upon the charge and the jurisdiction) that you no longer wish the prosecution to proceed, AND if the prosecutor agrees that the prosecution should not proceed, the prosecutor can ask the judge to dismiss the case. A lot of prosecutors believe that women recant in these situations only because they are afraid of the offending person, and will refuse to do so. If the prosecutor does ask, the judge will USUALLY, but not inevitably, do so upon the prosecutor’s request.
It is always best to remember that once you get the law involved, you lose a great deal of control over what happens.
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30 years as a criminal defense attorney.