Comments for Men Against Rape

Comment on Is this considered a form of torture? by ingsoc1

ingsoc1 — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:22:59 +0000

I call BS why would they not give her meds she is going to be easy to handle on them. Prisons have been passing them out for years. And what prison is going to let drugs from the outside in? This would be a violation on so many levels they wouldn't open themselves up to that
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Comment on Is this considered a form of torture? by Dea Wad

Dea Wad — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:39:59 +0000

You should report them
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by Brig

Brig — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:45:59 +0000

It is heart wrenching just reading what you have to endure on a daily bases. I believe you live in the US and if this is true then contact the National Abuse Violence Hot Line 800-799-SAFE 24/7 to speak with a free counselor who can give you guidance and protection for how to exit your marriage safely. The most dangerous time for a women in a abusive relationship is when she leaves.

You are endanger that he can become violent at anytime. Know that these type of mens do target women who are kind, loving, loyal etc and for you not having family was important for him because he knew you would bond quicker to him.

Its important that you learn about the type of man you are with but DO NOT tell him what you have found out because your life and your kids live will be at risk. Also you should do your research on a library computer and not your personal computer incase in has put soft ware on it to monitor your searches.

google:

laura kamienski.blogspot.com (please just use this information to give you the strength to leave
your husband but not to throw it in his face because he will likely
harm you and your kids.)

Your husband has used brainwashing (literally), fear, gas lighting, finical abuse, projections, reward and punishment to control and manipulate you into accepting his very dysfunctional and chaotic behavior. Start keeping a journal of the date/times etc of how he treats you. Tell your friends or co-workers also to keep a journal and give them every detail this will help you get a restraining order.

Please be safe,

National Abuse Violence Hot line 800-799-SAFE to talk with a free counselor 24/7.(USA) if you are not in the USA then google domestic abuse center for assistance.

also I would suggest to ask for the local centers number and go to group meetings with other women so that you know you are not alone and to hear your same story over and over to give you the strength to leave.

Take care,
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800-799-SAFE

Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by ready46xwu

ready46xwu — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:40:59 +0000

Doesn’t matter ‘where U r from!
He’s an a$$, and doesn’t deserve a good woman!
Make him leave, and start your new life!
one that U & ur kids will enjoy!
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by David L

David L — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:14:59 +0000

Before you leave be sure to make a plan. Have all of yours and your kids important papers, medications, etc. Try to have money put aside and if possible credit cards in your own name. Have a car if possible and put the registration and title with your important papers. Get all this together and leave them with someone you trust. For more call 1-888-743-5754 (DAHMWA) from a private telephone.
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Abuse helpline volunteer

Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by Isaleabootaz

Isaleabootaz — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:35:59 +0000

Come live with me start a new life! I think u should talk to an domestic abuse counsler, they should be able to keep u at a shelter and then find u a home. If he works third shift I would take what I could and leave, and file for divorce and stay at the shelter. I'm so sorry u have to go thru this. Sixty days is a lot u can find a job and get housing and u can file for divorce and get money out of his check. U are gonna have to start at the bottom and fight ur way up,
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by Rice Paper Princess

Rice Paper Princess — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:28:59 +0000

File for a restraining order. You have valid reasons to fear him, or so it seems, by what you say. I know that people can disregard restraining orders, but it looks good on paper. My next step would be filing for legal separation, then divorce. If this is out of the question, in your opinion, then take your kids and go to the shelter. 60 days isn't much time, but it's time enough to get a job. Go flip burgers, wait tablesm, anything that pays. I have put myself through college on waitress tips. It's good money. Save every penny of your money. At the end of the 60 days, take whatever money you have accumulated, and find somewhere to live with your kids. Look into low income or HUD housing. Rent a cheap apartment. Anything you have to do. I love my children, but there is nothing I wouldn't do to insure their emotional and physical safety. It's gonna be incredibly hard, but if you want to leave, you need to stop dragging your feet and giving yourself excuses, and do it.
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by Common Sense

Common Sense — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:46:59 +0000

Pack up some important things you want to keep and take them to your aunt's house for storage. Do not tell her what you are up to. Then take those kids, and their birth certificates and expired passports and pack some of their clothes and toys and go to that shelter. Sixty days is a long time and it is time enough for you to come up with another plan. There are people who take in families like yours to keep them safe and the shelter networks with these people. You will get away from that bastard and although it will be hard, you can survive if you are true to your convictions. Stay strong. Begin your carefully thought out exit plan. If you have anything of value, take it to a pawn shop so you have some money to leave. Honestly, this is a near emergency and you have to get the hell away from that man. OR ELSE!!!
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by M.

M. — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:59:59 +0000

First, you say he is middle eastern.
So what are YOU?
Next, did he start all his demands AFTER you married him?
I have very little contact with middle eastern people, but I very well know how demanding and unfair the men can be.
I didn’t read your whole story, it was too stressful.
You can NOT leave your kids.
You are their mother.
You can get a divorce from him, if you don’t want to be with him.
You are NOT going to change him and his ancient abusive ways.
Generation after generation of his people have been acting this way.
It is learned behavior, but you should have done some research before you married him.
You have gotten yourself into this strange predicament, and you can’t get out.
Where is YOUR family?
Your parents, your brothers and sisters, etc.
Won’t THEY help you??
In the old days, in the Arab countries, the men would kill their wife if they didn’t listen.
Whatever you do, do NOT go to an Arab country with him and your kids.
There was a movie with Sally Field who got involved in a situation like this.
I will try to find the name of the movie.
It was not good.
And it is typical of the kind of marriage that you agreed to be involved in.
Do NOT leave your native country!
No matter what he promises you.

Not Without My Daughter – 1991 – is the movie.

Watch it if you can.
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Comment on How to leave emotionaly abusive husband with kids? by Nick

Nick — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:28:59 +0000

I would say hit the shelter right away. From there, there has to be people that might be able to help you find a job.

Take the kids as soon as possible. You don’t want to wait until one day when things are too late. I don’t mean to scare you by saying this, but you never know what may happen. I am very surprised you have still been with your husband for this long even after he is constantly yelling and bringing you down.

You deserve better and so do your kids. Have you tried talking to him before about some of these things? Have you really ever sat down and discussed things with him (i.e. the way he treats you, how you feel, how you’re an adult and don’t need a curfew)?
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