Men Against Rape » solutions to domestic violence http://www.menagainstrape.org Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:31:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 The Domestic Violence Act? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-act http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-act#comments Thu, 15 Sep 2011 02:18:45 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-act Domestic violence is sadly a reality in Indian society, a truism. In the Indian patriarchal setup. but there must be some solution to it so can any one suggest me the way to get out of it. Or some place to find the way.

SAWNET: Domestic Violence
An article about domestic violence in the Indian community, by Lavina Melwani in Little India. Domestic Violence Shelter Tour contains essential information for battered …
www.sawnet.org/orgns/violence.php – Cached
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Shelter homes for women hit by domestic violence in MP
The Madhya Pradesh Government has issued directions to provide shelter to women affected by domestic violence in already existing Nari Niketans in four districts under …
news.webindia123.com/news/Articles/India/20081220/… – Cached
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Laws against domestic violence in India: Underused or Abused?
Laws against domestic violence Underused or Abused? … right to the matriomonial home, or offer her shelter … Manushi content is reproduced on India Together with …
www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue120/domestic.htm – Cached

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/the-domestic-violence-act/feed 2 what are the possible soulutions to fixing dometic violence or sexual abuse against women? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/what-are-the-possible-soulutions-to-fixing-dometic-violence-or-sexual-abuse-against-women http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/what-are-the-possible-soulutions-to-fixing-dometic-violence-or-sexual-abuse-against-women#comments Sat, 03 Sep 2011 23:27:13 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/what-are-the-possible-soulutions-to-fixing-dometic-violence-or-sexual-abuse-against-women If you have any opinions or answers on how domestic violence or sexual abuse against women ( caused by men) please tell me what your thoughts are? if you think there are no possible solutions please list no and why. thank you for your time!

I’m going to go out on a massive limb here – the problem is deeply societal and it comes from a number of things:

1) Sex in our society is deeply misunderstood, misused and we are taught that sex is bad, sex is shameful and you should feel guilty if you have too much of it. I believe that this comes directly from religion.
2) We live in a male dominated society where might is right, survival of the fittest is deeply ingrained in our thinking. This creates the image that women are the weaker sex. I also believe this comes from religion – god is seen as male.
3) Women are said to provoke men and men are helpless to the lure of a woman’s sexuality. I also believe this comes from religion – Adam & Eve. Did Eve not tempt Adam?

Ok, I have to say that I am not religious. I am spiritual though.

The cultural myths above are deeply ingrained into our culture because religion promotes them and our societal laws are based in religion. If you don’t believe me, take a look. How about the 10 commandments? Are they not the basis of law today? Law follows religion, it has to, how else were the people meant to be controlled when we were living in non connected communities in centuries gone? Even if you are not sure about this one, hear me out.

To fix these problems, we need to change our cultural myths – the way we see sex as a society, a much greater respect for women based on the fact that might is not right. Actually love is more right than might.

In a normal intimate relationship, sex is good, sex is fun, sex feels great, sex is spiritual, sex can be mindblowingly amazing, sex and love are very closely linked, our bodies are beautiful, sexy, delicious and our bodies sexually turn each other on. Our bodies are not to be ashamed of. We do not feel guilty for having sex. Sex is not shameful in any way. This is the case right? Well then, lets teach it to our kids this! Could you imagine what life would be like if everyone grew up loving their bodies and thinking that sex was great? How would it feel as a woman if having as much sex as you could was actually respected because you were celebrating your body & the joys of it!

I know this sounds crazy & totally way out, but its simply a matter of thinking about it differently. If we as a race thought like this about sex, would their be as much sexual dysfunction in our society? I VERY MUCH DOUBT IT.

To get more respect for women, how about we introduce a goddess or two into our religions and see them as equal to our gods. That would say to society that women are equal to men. This would then see what women bring to the human race as just as valuable as men. If women were seen as valuable and not just weak and here to support the power of men, society would come down much harder on men that abuse women. So, if a woman said she was raped, perhaps she would be believed, she would be shown respect in the court process and not have to prove the man’s guilt and go through all sorts of violations to do it.

You know, there is a way to look at what is right for the human race, to see what works for us as a society by saying: "What would life be like if everybody did….." So what if everybody did look at sex differently and what would life be like if we all respected women as much as men?

I tell you what, the world would be a VASTLY different place.

So, my answer is change the societal myths by either changing religious myths or totally debunking the old ones and creating new ones. Teach the new way of looking at sex and women to our children, bring them up with a totally different idea about sex, sexuality and the ideas that while men & women are different, they are just as valuable in society as one another.

Seriously, the above is truth anyway and it’s obvious that sex is good and woman & man are just as valuable to society as each other. Lets just admit it and teach our children differently. They would then teach it to their children and so on.

To me, that is the only solution. The rest are band-aids. We need new views on sex and women. There is no other way around it.

As usual, with all societal problems, a change in consciousness is needed.

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/what-are-the-possible-soulutions-to-fixing-dometic-violence-or-sexual-abuse-against-women/feed 2 Do you think that Churches should get involved in fighting domestic violence? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/do-you-think-that-churches-should-get-involved-in-fighting-domestic-violence http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/do-you-think-that-churches-should-get-involved-in-fighting-domestic-violence#comments Wed, 31 Aug 2011 07:26:31 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/do-you-think-that-churches-should-get-involved-in-fighting-domestic-violence It is my contention, that domestic violence occurs because people primarily grow up in households where this was exhibited. Boys and girls need to be educated in high school as to how to solve problems when in a relationship. For example, a female needs to be able to control her emotions and express herself in a calm and rational manner, while a male needs to have patience and understanding. Lack of solutions cannot be used as an excuse for physical violence or verbal abuse. Compromise, selflessness, and service must be reiterated as cornerstones for establishing healthy households.

What sayest THOU???

So, we females need to "control our emotions" while males need to have patience with us, as though we’re retarded or something?

Blow it out your azz.

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/do-you-think-that-churches-should-get-involved-in-fighting-domestic-violence/feed 10 Domestic violence and immigration? How to protect myself against false accusation? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-and-immigration-how-to-protect-myself-against-false-accusation http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-and-immigration-how-to-protect-myself-against-false-accusation#comments Sun, 28 Aug 2011 06:09:24 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-and-immigration-how-to-protect-myself-against-false-accusation Domestic violence and immigration? How to protect myself against false accusation?
We got married 1 Nov 2010 and i just moved to Adelaide,Australia 2months back….
Right now I am abandoned by my wife in her house suffering from kidney stones.(Since 28 June 2011)

With no steady flow of income only a part time job. Managing my food, transportation, medicine all by myself .My wife is very controlling and have no legal status as I am a migrant on a temporary spouse visa.

My wife is very aggressive not only physically but also verbally. Since my arrival in Australia the relationship between my wife and me has suffered irreparable problems and is getting worse by the day. Due to both medical and physical reasons.
Following our marriage since I have discovered my wife is a severe sufferer of:
• Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) and
• Suffers acute vaginismus(sexual dysfunction)
These two matters have caused friction causing aggressive arguments, threats amounting to domestic violence.
Despite the urging of medical opinions to seek advice of counsellors and psychologist, my wife has ignored all pleadings for rational counselling.
But mentally I’m really suffering, from her super high expectations of me, her emotional abuse, social put downs, economic deprivation , dramatic marriage life and unwanted sex due to her sexual dysfunction , and I am very insecure due to current life situation. I’ve been reading materials on Domestic Violence and possible solutions for me. Deep inside if we could repair this marriage, I’m still willing to try and be able to save my first marriage. But more and more recently my dream has been shattered, I realized more and more this is not going to happen.

She is very aggressive, arrogant, stubborn, refuse to change in anyway to make our relationship work better. I have gone to relationship Australia thrice but she refuses to take any help. Her rule is “throw away” if its broken then throw away rather than work on it.She just wants me to leave the country and nothing to talk about or discuss.
Mentally i m stressed due to:
• New Country
• My Medical condition
• Domestic abuse
• Separation

All those words over and over again really hurt my heart and my ability to reach out to her. Honestly I really find her way of treating me very very abusive, but meanwhile I’m not sure myself, I’d like to have any support & opinions from anybody who cares to read and understand my situation as well as professional help.

1. Divorce should I give my consent or not? (She decided to end this marriage just within 2 months of me moving to Oz)

2. How will a divorce impact my immigration status? As I am on a temporary visa for 2 yrs.

3. If she gets restraining orders and how should I protect myself? I never did anything she thinks I am abusing her.

4. Can I press charges against her for fraud and concealing critical information about her illness before marriage? She ruined my life and going back as a divorcee is not acceptable in my culture? Can i claim damages?
btw my wife is Australian citizen now.

Not to spam this up.. but I am 16- and i read all this.. my Uncle was in the same situation.. u gotta get a wicked good lawyer.. because it can go anyway from here man..

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/domestic-violence-and-immigration-how-to-protect-myself-against-false-accusation/feed 1 I need a ridiculous satire solution for domestic violence.? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/i-need-a-ridiculous-satire-solution-for-domestic-violence http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/i-need-a-ridiculous-satire-solution-for-domestic-violence#comments Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:57:46 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/i-need-a-ridiculous-satire-solution-for-domestic-violence This is for english 4 and I need help to find a funny but ridiculous satire solution for domestic violence

How about….

A man comes home from work and he is tired and just wants to rest and eat. So he asks his girl to make him a sandwich because she doesn’t have a job (obviously) and just spends the mans hard earned money, so naturally, she should give a little back. But to everyone’s surprise, she refuses! THE NERVE. Needless to say, the man (and if your presentation is made correctly, the rest of the class) is extremely upset that she won’t make him a sandwich. So he gets up and asks her one more time and she is all like, "No, make it yourself." BAM. Open hand slap to the face! (Laughter and applause). Then he turns to the camera and shows his open hand and says "Discipline" then shows his back hand and says "Abuse". Then black screen with with lettering that says "Know when to use them."

That is gold my friend.

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/i-need-a-ridiculous-satire-solution-for-domestic-violence/feed 3 does forgiving past issues with family necessarily mean having to build a relationship with them? http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/does-forgiving-past-issues-with-family-necessarily-mean-having-to-build-a-relationship-with-them http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/does-forgiving-past-issues-with-family-necessarily-mean-having-to-build-a-relationship-with-them#comments Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:16:01 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/does-forgiving-past-issues-with-family-necessarily-mean-having-to-build-a-relationship-with-them Hello
I am a 21 year old female. I grew up in a very abusive and dysfunctional family due to an alcoholic parent’s addiction. Well anyways, to make it quick, I grew up with several mental problems due to the verbal, physical, and emotional abuse from all family members, I played the role as the "lost child." Now all of a sudden everyone in the family seems to be acting like they all of a sudden care about me and each other, and somehow the most abusive family members are acting all nice. I must say, I am willing to forgive, but a relationship with my family is something I DO NOT want. I do not feel comfortable after all these years of mental disturbance and abuse, and I don’t feel connected to any one of them except my mother. I don’t want to speak much or be around them anymore. I have PTSD from all the domestic violence as a child, and I do believe it is quite possibly going to be a lifelong mental problem as directed by my doctor. I feel a relationship just isn’t going to work and I do not trust anyone, no matter how "nice" they act with me. Is this something normal? is it necessary to have to have a relationship just because I forgive? if anyone has any solutions please help, any answers are appreciated.

**note: I am religious if anyone has any help in that aspect

You said religious. But that does not necessarily mean Christian. However most religions contain what are Universal Truths and forgiveness is one of them.

What were Christ’s last words on the cross. "Forgive them for they know not what they do." In other words they just don’t know any better. In your case, the drunk had given his control over to booze or dope. The others spent their unhappy time trying to cover up just how bad things were.

Another thing about forgiveness is that you do not offer it for the benefit of the offender. My opinion is that forgiveness is done for ourselves. Forgiveness takes away the power these people still have over your present life — the anger you feel, the sadness.

Why do you want to forgive them anyway? You should consider this also because that will help you to know your tolerance in case things get off track. Maybe conditions have changed with the rest of the family. So you take them in small doses as they earn back your trust. It may work with some of them and not on others.

I hope this helps. Just remember: Forgiveness itself is a selfish act done for your benefit. This is one place where selfish is good. If you are right about your PTSD you do have a lifelong spiritual problem. The short answer to your question: No you do not have to build a relationship with them. But it does offer the possibility of having a relationship with the ones you select as being least likely to hurt you in the future. Forgiveness allows you to bargain with some pretty strong cards in your hand.

You are in my prayers!

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/does-forgiving-past-issues-with-family-necessarily-mean-having-to-build-a-relationship-with-them/feed 2 New York Asians Womens Center http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/new-york-asians-womens-center http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/new-york-asians-womens-center#comments Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:57:07 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/new-york-asians-womens-center Watch Domestic Violence Show online at http://dv.Pucho.com site.

The Domestic Violence Show is about a Bronx Social Worker who Turns her Pain Into Intense Drama. She lived with an abusive husband for decades has turned her pain into an enlightening stage production. Refer to http://dv.Pucho.com for cable TV broadcast dates and more information.

New York Asians Womens Center offers free Domestic Violence Services in New York City.

Duration : 0:0:31


[youtube ZGnuvr25Xik]

]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/new-york-asians-womens-center/feed 0 Part of the Solution Commercial #2 http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/part-of-the-solution-commercial-2 http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/part-of-the-solution-commercial-2#comments Thu, 08 Jul 2010 22:46:14 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/part-of-the-solution-commercial-2 This is the second commercial of the Part of the Solution Campaign, a male accountability program to engage men and boys in the struggle to end violence against women. All these actors are volunteers from the Atlantic County, New Jersey community who are part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Duration : 0:0:32


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]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/part-of-the-solution-commercial-2/feed 0 Men’s Leadership Forum 2007 http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/mens-leadership-forum-2007 http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/mens-leadership-forum-2007#comments Sun, 04 Jul 2010 20:39:20 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/mens-leadership-forum-2007 This video chronicles the seventh annual Men’s Leadership Forum, a yearly conference for men on how men can be part of the solution to end domestic or relationship violence. Join us for the MLF 2008 on February 14 at Paradise Point in San Diego. Go to www.sandiegodvcouncil.org to learn more.

Duration : 0:9:27


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]]> http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/mens-leadership-forum-2007/feed 4 Rihanna’s Fight – Stop Domestic Abuse http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/rihannas-fight-stop-domestic-abuse http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/rihannas-fight-stop-domestic-abuse#comments Wed, 30 Jun 2010 17:40:18 +0000 admin http://www.menagainstrape.org/solutions-to-domestic-violence/rihannas-fight-stop-domestic-abuse Be apart of the solution, not apart of the problem. This epidemic is bigger then just Chris Brown and Rihanna. Your support should be towards the problem, not to place blame. It’s time to end Domestic Violence and we could be the generation to do it.

Duration : 0:6:4


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