Rape

My husband and I were arguing in our apartment and the neighbors called the police. We were alreay in the process of "making up". The police came and interviewed him and visualy saw marks on me from the "making up". The police arrested him for domestic violence and said that the state of Virginia would charge him for it not the city. They never took a statement from me nor pictures. From the time my husband got arrested to his release back to me took 45 min. He litterly walked in the back door did some paperwork and walked out the front.
What are the odds that he will be found guilty with only the testamony of the officer and me testifying and telling my story in defense of my husband in the state of Va.

You know, I suspect you’re not going to get many takers on this one. You’ve got a lot of issues here that are very involved and nobody who knows what they are talking about is going to be able to give you an answer based on the "facts" you’ve presented here.

Rather than try to answer your question, let me ask you some more:

What do you define as arguing? Was it strictly verbal or was there any physical touching whatsoever?

Were any threats of any kind made during the argument?

You said the police saw marks on you from "making up"…which, frankly, is very suspicious to an old cop like me. But the question is, what kind of marks? Are you talking about a hickey or a bruise?

When the police interviewed your husband, what did he say? Did he perhaps admit to doing something that would have violated the law in your state? And please – if you did not personally hear the interview between your husband and the police, you do not *know* what was said…you might know what your husband told you later, but if you didn’t hear it for yourself, you don’t know.

Don’t know if you’re asking a question about the city or the state prosecuting, but if you are: not unusual for the state to prosecute a domestic violence charge, even if the victim denies it or changes their story later.

If you told the police the marks on you were from "making up", then they did take a statement from you. Once you said that, the police may have felt that was all the statement they were going to get out of you – especially if the marks they saw were not consistent with what you said was "making up" (for example: most people don’t make up by leaving bruises, swollen lips, scratches, black eyes, etc…if those are the marks you’re talking about, I’m with the cops on this one).

If you had marks, the police certainly should have taken photos of them. Some types of minor injuries don’t show well in photos (especially depending on the equipment) so they may not have thought photos were worthwhile or they just simply didn’t take them. What were your "marks"?

You’re asking what the odds are that he’ll be found guilty based on what you say is the officer’s testimony and your statement in defense of your husband. Can’t answer that one because neither you nor I have all the facts, I suspect.

What did the neighbors say (or more importantly, do the neighbors have something to say; did they hear threats, did they hear physical violence, did they hear you say something that would suggest you were being victimized)?

What did he say? Maybe without meaning to, he admitted to a crime. He wouldn’t be the first person to do so…and if the cops were skillful interviewers, they may have obtained an admission or confession from him without him realizing he was doing so.

What is the crime of domestic violence in Virginia? You were smart to include that you’re in that state because it certainly makes a difference (and unfortunately, I’m not from there).

Do the police know you and your husband? Either of you been arrested for domestic violence before?

Bottom line: way too many "what-if’s" for anyone to give you an educated answer to your question. Depending on the answers to the questions I’ve asked, the chances of him being found guilty could be very good, or very poor.

And finally: I’ve investigated domestic violence crimes for over 18 years as a police officer. I hope everything you wrote here is absolutely true…that you were not the victim of domestic violence, and that you are as safe today as the day you were born. I hope nobody ever lays a hand on you, threatens you, or abuses you. However, what you’ve written here (and what I suspect your answers to some of my questions might be) is some of the most commonly-expressed statements I’ve heard from domestic violence victims. I cannot count the number of women I’ve talked to over the years who have been victims of domestic violence, but who don’t see themselves that way for any number of reasons. Please – if you are in an unsafe or violent relationship, do not tell yourself it’s your fault, it’s no big deal, or that he will "get better" of his own accord. It does not happen, and the violence will get worse. I hope this is all as you’ve said, but if it is not, get help and get out.

The answer to my original question of ‘my boyfriend has been charged with domestic violence. No previous criminal history, will he go to jail?’ was answered by a cop who said probably not, but expect costly classes etc. Is this based on Australian law? I live in Victoria.

he wont go to jail…yet… my ex boyfriend got done one day cause he was hitting me and stuff and the neighbours called the police. basically what happened was he went to court, the judged served him an AVO (aggravated violence order) and he cannot re=offend for like 2 years i think it is. so basically as long as he doesnt hit you (or get caught doing it) he wont go to jail. if he DOES, there’s a chance he might, or he might get probation or a suspended sentence.
from memory my ex didnt have to pay any charges or get a lawyer or anything. it was just in and out of court. simple.

but…he’s my ex for a reason, if you get my drift……….

I’m not proud of this but I want help badly. I have a girlfriend whom I’ve been with for almost two years and I love her alot, but when she starts saying things about me thats not true or brings up unnesscary things that brings up an argument, I get angry and I start shoving her and pushing her around so she can stop. At first I didnt do anything but then I got so angry I couldn’t take it anymore and I just started this pattern of getting mad and pushing her around and abusing her (only when she starts accussing me of things). I know I’m wrong I regret it so much but we still want to be together but I just want to find an annoymous way of finding anger management so I can control this because if it continues I cannot be with her and I dont want that to happen. I’m grateful for her and I love her, but I want to find a way to control my anger so I wont end up doing something I’ll regret. Please help me a solution or tips (and if possible pray for me and my relationship). Thank you.

Anger Management doesn’t work in the case of Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is all about control. You need a Batterers Intervention Program. You can probably find one in your local area. Also you can read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. This is considered the "Bible" on Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence only escalates and it won’t go away by itself. Good Luck!

what are some reasons for violence against women in Tajikistan? or just some reason for violence in general. thanks

Is this a serious question? Like, you’re doing research for a class, or something?

Here are some sources on domestic violence in Tajikistan, specifically:

http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/EUR60/001/2009/en/59bb6e9b-727d-496b-b88d-1245a750d504/eur600012009en.pdf

http://www.ncjrs.gov/App/Publications/abstract.aspx?ID=247496

http://www.unfpa.org/news/news.cfm?ID=1066

http://oldmahr.urbanplanet.com/sites/608a3887-dd53-4796-8904-997a0131ca54/uploads/Microsoft_Word_-_Tajikistan_3_6_07_Layout_-_FINAL_mc_2.pdf

Good luck.

hi,good day to all.we are roman catholics,my sister married 13yrs back,marriage registration at manaparai near trichy-tamilnadu .my sister,her hubby,children(boy 12yrs, girl 3yrs) and servent maid(tamilian fe >35yrs) staying togather in singapore.my sis and girl having PR. her hubby and boy having citizenship.my sis hasbeen suffered tortures like physical assault,verbal abuse and abnormal sexual compulsions by her hubby.moreover the maid made him to use all kinds of violence against my sis. we suspect ther is a extra marrital affair between her hubby and maid.The childrens passport and sister jewells (>50soverigns) under his custody.the boy under the custody of her hubby and maid, they wont allow him to talk with my sister and also making wrong opinion about my sister.for this problems we make some efforts by our relatives but he refuse to give the passport and dismissal of maid.so my sis approach indian high commission,but they ignored under the grounds of family dispute. so my sis lodged complaint against him in policestation lastyear,by follow the singapore court issued PERSONNAL PROTECTION ORDER to my sister. still my sister staying with him,coz of her children.so kindly help how to bring my sis n children to india, whom to contact,well experienced advocate name and address. hope u guide me. mail me.. thank u.
by
prajin

Well tell her too get her butt out of there maybe move to Pakistan

I want to create a video to make people aware of how women abuse men too, but having trouble finding an appropriate background song to the video. Any suggestions?

The Cure- Boys Dont Cry, I know its about romance instead of violence, but it is also about a man doing something (crying) that is typically more associated with women.

Queen- Killer Queen, more appropriate words perhaps, but I think the tone of it is a bit too fun

Can’t think of any others at the moment.

i am putting together a sort of PSA video to bring to light certain facts on spouse abuse and domestic violence and would like a good song to go with it. not only do i want it to tell the stories of the abuse, but also how women can stand up and fight back.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Face Down

The song was written about lead singer Ronnie’s mother who was abused by his father.

Here are the lyrics to the song -
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One walk puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I’ll never understand why you hang around
I see what’s going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it’s never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world bear a consequence
If you wait around forever you will surely drown
I see what’s going down.

I see the way you go and say you’re right again,
Say you’re right again,
Heed my lecture.

Do you feel like a man

When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she said
This doesn’t hurt she said I finally had enough.
Face down in the dirt she said
This doesn’t hurt she said I finally had enough.

(Screaming)
One day she will tell you that she had enough
It’s coming round again

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt she said
This doesn’t hurt she said I finally had enough

FULL STORY

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Rihanna and Chris Brown have pulled out of the Grammy Awards following an alleged violent incident on Saturday night, Access Hollywood has learned.

The LAPD is currently investigating Brown for assault following an alleged domestic violence felony battery against an unidentified woman at 12:30 AM on Sunday in Los Angeles.

According to the LAPD, the R&B singer and the woman were in a vehicle on North June St. in the Hancock Park area of LA, where the victim claims an argument occurred. Brown allegedly stopped the car and the woman suffered "visible injuries" and identified the singer as her attacker.

Spokesperson for both stars told the LAPD that they were "well".

We feel so cringy right now. Chris Brown, a hitter?

UPDATE:
Officer Karen Smith from the LAPD confirms to PEOPLE:
"He turned himself in around 7 p.m. to one of our stations and is being interviewed by detectives now," Officer Smith said. It’s unclear whether the singer will be formally arrested and booked.

UPDATE:
Chris Brown is now being held on $50,000 bail.
Bail settled.

UPDATE:
According to the New York Daily News, a security guard at Ceders-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles saw Rihanna being taken in for treatment at the hospital Sunday, and another spy says the argument stemmed from Rihanna accusing Chris Brown of checking out other women at Clive Davis’ party.

UPDATE:
It has been confirmed that the assault victim was indeed Rihanna (under the name Robyn Fenty).A more disturbing addition would be that Chris Brown’s crime report included the citation "assault with a deadly weapon".

UPDATE:
Chris Brown might not even be doing time at all!Experts share their views:
"If he pleads no contest to misdemeanor battery, he may be slapped with only 2 years of probation, fines, enrollment in a domestic violence treatment program, and attendance to counseling sessions."
Brown is to appear in court March 5th.

UPDATE:
No deadly weapons were involved.However, a person’s foot or other body part can be considered a deadly weapon depending on the circumstances.
Ironically, sources claimed that there was an umbrella in the car. Oh come on!

UPDATE:
Reports show that Rihanna suffered from two huge contusions on both sides of her forehead, a bloody lip and bloody nose.There is serious swelling and bruising. There are indeed bite marks on one of her arms and on several fingers.
Police claimed that her situation was indeed "horrific".

Rihanna claims Chris struck her with his fists and that’s what did the damage.
Her family now is bringing her back down to Barbados, away from the abusive Chris Brown.
Her upcoming concert in Malaysia is not confirmed to go on as planned.

i really don’t care.

I was recently in an incident where a guy gave me the date rape pill (ghb i think) any way, he held me against my will and so he is being charged with false inprisonment, kidnaping, battery on a police officer, and criminal damage to property of 1,000 dollars or more. Any idea on the time this guys gonna get? Please any info would be a great help and ease my mind.

It depends on what he is convicted of, what state he is in and what priors he has. It could range from walking free, or if he is a California 3rd striker, getting life, and everything in between.

Sorry I can’t be more specific, but there are just too many unknowns.

Rihanna violence photo leaked the truedamge chris brown did

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